My Own Prison – A Christian Poem

Your law feels like a jailer’s prison
that constrains me in a straight jacket,
unable to move within my cell.
I could strip off my dirty clothes
and unlock my chamber door…
But what awaits me out in the free world?
What of my foolish desires
if life loses all meaning and beauty
becomes simply a fragment of the human mind?
No. I can’t bear it. I won’t.
But don’t you see my problem?
Don’t you see what leaves me pacing puzzled
with this putrid pondering,
wandering through mud and mire,
sore, winded, and tired,
flames that lick up my skin and scorch
my fragile heart and fill it with desire?

Oh, don’t you see?
There’s no hope. I’ll never be free.
I can’t live in a world without you,
but with you there’s a crushing weight
upon my shoulders I can’t bear.
Try as I might, I fail,
resigned to listen to my own desires
instead of seeking your heart.
I am a stubborn and lonely dragon,
determined to to live in a dark, dank cave
doggedly guarding my treasure.
Eyes of brimstone and hardened scales upon my skin,
too scared, too unwilling to let down my guard
and let you in.

Relieve me from my restless wanderings.
Make me feel no guilt when I fail.
Or tear down this hardened heart
and release me from this jail.
I want nothing more than to have you.
Well, nothing except maybe my own free will.
Do you see my paradoxical problem?
Do you see what keeps me up at night
tossing, turning, yearning to forget
and get some sleep?
If it be your will, release me.
Teach me how to deal with this darkness –
these starving desires constantly screaming
in my ears pleading for me to give them
some pleasure to eat.

-Poem Written by Justin Farley

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Nature’s Bounty – A Chapbook of Poems About Nature by Justin Farley

A Voice in the Wilderness – A Chapbook of Poems About God by Justin Farley

Thorns of Love – Sad Love Poems About Heartbreak and Break Ups by Justin Farley

Blossoms of Hope: Inspirational Spring Poems About Mental Health and Healing by Justin Farley

Frozen Rivers: A Collection of Poems about Mental Health and Nature Poetry About Winter by Justin Farley

My current collections of poetry, all available on Amazon, all written by me, Justin Farley. A Voice in the Wilderness is a chapbook of Christian Poetry, written about the joys, doubts, struggles, and sorrows of the Christian life. Nature’s Bounty is a collection of nature poetry celebrating my love for the outdoors. And Thorns of Love is the first book of three in a series of poems about love, this one being sad, breakup poems.

I have also published two poetry collections about the seasons and mental health–each book containing half nature poems about the particular season and half mental health issues that I felt correspond with the season. The first collection I published was Frozen Rivers which is about winter and also the hardships of life and specifically living with mental illness. My latest book is Blossoms of Hope which focuses on spring and finding hope during hard times.

I write to reach the hearts of the searching, the suffering, the still fighting. I write to soothe my soul and hopefully to soothe yours too. I write to celebrate and attempt to put words to the beauty of life. Here are my published books on Amazon. More to come. A huge, humble thank you to anyone who supports my work.

-Justin Farley