“A fourth thought arrived. Then many more”–so begins the hell of the spiral down to a panic attack or at least misery. This quote is a perfect description of how the spiral of anxiety starts and morphs into full blown panic from a single thought. Oh, if only you could avoid the first worried thought (impossible!) or at the very least not move on to the second thought you’d be normal. But you can’t. That’s why they call it an anxiety disorder.

In some messed up way, the sick mind gravitates towards sick thoughts–gets pulled to them like a magnet. Once the mind is stuck, though, it’s unable to break the magnetic force of spiraling fear that’s a trillion times stronger than an electromagnet. Sleep seems to be the only way to break its pull.

And even if you’re disciplined enough to resist the chain of what ifs and blind your eyes to the images of worst case scenarios your amygdala keeps shoving in your face for a minute, two minutes, ten, or even a full hour, its magnet keeps bumping up against your sanity waiting for the opportunity for your “magnetic field” of positive energy you’re locked onto to weaken enough that polarities are flipped, and you’re in the grip of a force you can’t repel.