The Clouds of Mourning – A Poem About Depression and Pain

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As we go through life, there are inevitable seasons where it seems the skies are always cloudy, always raining, and the forecast will never change. Anyone that has ever dealt with depression (or any mental illness for that matter) knows that it is like a ghost that haunts you no matter where you go or how hard you try to hide from it. Fight all you want, but you can never defeat the forces of darkness with strength alone. In these times of darkness and pain, how do we keep moving forward? How do we resist the temptation to give up and let the pain of life suck everything from our soul?

Typically, telling yourself to “cheer up”, “suck it up”, “pick yourself up”, or having someone else tell you to stop feeling sorry for yourself only makes matters worse, and I believe does a disservice to our heart. Deep depression is not an easy thing to fix, and the reality is that sometimes there are circumstances in our lives where the only appropriate response is to mourn and cry. And sometimes we need that time to just embrace the issue and recognize that it is ok to feel pain. But how do we not drown in that pain?

I believe the only way we can move forward is by grasping hope and refusing to let go. It might not get better today, it might not be tomorrow, but as long as there is hope that things will get better, the ghosts of depression are unable to penetrate our locked doors and totally possess us.

The Clouds of Mourning – A Poem About Depression and Pain

The clouds of mourning
Hang and hover over me
Like ghosts – translucent,
Yet allowing only darkness to pass through.
Their pale gray sheets flap and flutter
In the breezes of life,
Dimming and drowning out
All traces of light.
Their wails send nails
Falling from the sky,
Raining down and driving like hammers;
Pounding their melancholic clamors into my heart.

My palette is stained,
Soaked in ashen gray paint.
Non-washable, permanent and persistent;
Resistant to the colors I attempt to cover with my brush.
The clouds of mourning
Flood my skies like ghastly Dementors,
Following me through the hours
And sucking at my soul one minute at a time.

Sweet angels,
Have you lost the fight to the terrors?
Have your hallowed halos burnt out like smoking embers
And lost their luster and glow?
Where are you hiding
In this dark and stormy night?
Where are your shields and swords,
Why are you overwhelmed by the demons of darkness,
Why do you refuse to fight?

What weapons do I pick up
To fend off forces invisible and invincible?
Is there an amulet I can hang over my heart to keep out
The ghouls that pass uninhibited through locked doors?
The icy rain covers my window pane
In sheets of tears running down in streams of solitude.
Winter’s wrath bars my path
And leaves me shivering in the cold wondering what to do.
The clouds of mourning
Hang and hover over me
Like ghosts – translucent,
But hope shall be my exorcism.

-Poem Written by Justin Farley


 

photo credit: Titanic via photopin (license)

A Poem About Alcoholism and Addiction – “One More Taste”

“One More Taste” – Poem About Alcoholism and Addiction

 

Like an empty bottle of whiskey,
I’ve drank you down to the last drop.
The alcoholic in me is still thirsty,
But my rationale tells me to stop.

A madman feening, I sit alone with my demons,
Pacing, wrestling with racing thoughts.
Counting the minutes waiting out these hellish withdrawals,
But the hands sit idle on the clock.

There is no joy for an addict
Walking away from his self-prescribed relief.
Yet knowing that somehow he must get clean,
But doesn’t know how to bear the grief.

I’ve sworn off the drink,
But the fire of your aftertaste still burns on my lips,
Memories on my mind, wanting to rewind
And get just one more fix.

I may be sober,
But the hangover remains.
Without my elixir to soothe me,
I’m left only to bear the pain.

This bottle remains empty –
A void of space that can’t be replaced.
I know that another drink could be my downfall,
So why do I long for another taste?

Leaving Home – A Love Poem About Rejection and Starting Over 

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Leaving Home – A Poem About Getting Rejected by a Lover

Leaving home and venturing alone
Out across the unfamiliar frontier.
The scenery and signposts are all unknown,
And my heart sags, burdened by hesitation and fear.

Traveling along tomorrow’s highway,
Musing over the miles left behind.
But when you’ve played every card there is to play,
Your eviction notice has been signed.

It’s no easy task to pack up the memories,
Pile your bags high with hopes of what you thought would be.
But when your heart is denied all entries,
It’s clear you’ve been rejected, not set free.

So now one set of footprints mark the journey
Where there once were two.
This road has become winding and curvy
At the thought of starting something new.

But I have no regrets nor reservations;
I did all that I could do.
I’m just weighted down by a trunk filled with frustrations
That I was not worth the fight for you.

I’ll travel on,
Knowing there’s an exit within my sight.
But my heart still worries how you’ll get along
Through your dark and arduous night.

My only concern is for your poor heart –
So blind and was never able to see.
I would have held your hand tightly through the dark,
But instead you’ve settled for misery.

Leaving home and venturing alone,
Determined to not let fear decide my fate.
Far better to blaze a path into the unknown
Than to remain comfortable and stagnate.

-Poem Written by Justin Farley


photo credit: Iceland Highways via photopin (license)

Eclipse – A Poem

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Eclipse – A Poem

Two sides of a conflicting coin
Flip like faces in a dramatic act.
Two intricate and separate forces entangle
In a bitter struggle, leaving Earth cloaked in black.

How can such a powerful light
Be smothered by such a small, sinister hand?
A visceral visual of what evil can accomplish
When given the freedom to take root in the heart of man.

In a matter of seconds the cosmos is silenced
By the veil of darkness and death.
The yang captured beneath the yin’s net;
Hope and light suffocating and gasping for breath.

What once was so beautiful,
Shining in the sky’s endless sea,
Has now turned into a lifeless puppet,
Bound and animated by dark, dominating strings.

You were once a blazing beacon –
A fire of hope that lit up my nights.
But now, my once glorious sun,
You’ve laid down, surrendered, and given up the fight.

I only hope this is but an eclipse
And shortly you’ll come forth from hiding behind the moon.
For life is but a quick, short breath
And will not wait while you wallow woefully in your room.

Two opposite forces fight
In the face of the atmosphere;
The moon is not a worthy opponent
But kills all light when the sun hides in fear.

The moon hangs with no power,
But becomes master when the sun submits.
Defy the rebellion, do not yield to your captor.
Emerge as the victor in your heart’s eclipse.

-Poem Written by Justin Farley

photo credit: Lunar Eclipse via photopin (license)

Stars

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Stars

Tears fall.
Shooting, streaming from the sky.
Stars that used to shine
Are extinguished in seas of pain and die.
Endless black covers heaven’s rooftop
With no signposts or signal fires to light and guide the way.
The moon mourns in solemn tunes,
Refusing to reflect the sun’s rays.
Dreams of desolation
Devour the realms of sleep.
For when love hides in solitude,
The Sandman only has tears to eat
And memories of days when the stars were endless,
Each burning bright clinging with hope to future possibility.
But hope ceases at the examination of reality.
The sand sprinkled from his hands
Is scorched in the fires of despair
And becomes sharp shards of glass
Gouging out eyes, blinding them
And leaving only visions of the past.
For every promise made that’s been broken,
There’s a battered heart that’s left not woken,
Left to wither in a web of unattainable dreams.
Stars stream from the sky and heaven cries
Because love has clipped their wings.

– Poem Written by Justin Farley


 

photo credit: Geminid Into the Light via photopin (license)

Second Star To The Right – A Poem About Losing Childhood Innocence

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Second Star To The Right – A Poem About Losing Childhood Innocence

My sanctuary of sanity
Dresses in new robes everyday.
Joyfully furnishing new rooms of solitude
Only to find the door locked the very next day.

The storm clouds gather, grow like weeds –
Stubborn and unable to be wrought out.
Their rains fueling, feeding the pain
And ensuring the sun’s rays are forever shut out.

Time is like a wagon wheel, spinning on an axle
Moving faster with every step I take.
Youth becoming a long, lost memory
But a destination my heart can’t seem to shake.

I remember the smell of fresh magic that hung heavy on the air
And its breath scattering seeds of imagination with the breeze.
Playful, not paralyzed by the clenching grip of reality,
Lost in imaginary battles and climbing high to the tops of trees.

But the roots of innocence were poisoned –
Decayed into fragments of nothingness years ago.
Left only a restless, aching heart
And a mind hinged on worldly woes.

Where do we go to find the fairy tales,
The myths, the fables that sowed towering dreams
Now that the reality of fate is unveiled
And the threads of time are splitting at the seams?

Is there a place for a Lost Boy
Living among grown up dreams?
Has my trip to Neverland been permanently delayed?
For the second star to the right can no longer be seen.

-Poem Written by Justin Farley

When Trouble Comes – A Poem About Faith and Enduring Life’s Pain

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When Trouble Comes
A Poem About Faith and Enduring Life’s Pain

Evening’s crippling darkness passes away.
It’s distant vigor muted by the beauty of the morn.
Hope shines forth from the sun’s mighty rays,
A new spirit within us is born.

I am not overburdened by life’s troubles.
Though painful, they will not shackle nor strangle me.
For it is within each of my daily struggles
That provides growth’s greatest opportunity.

When the seas of my demise arise
And the wake of fear crests beyond the levee’s peak,
Faith persists and finds a way to uphold and drive
Me just beyond the tide of trouble’s reach.

We are neither all dark nor light –
In this lifetime we’re destined to reside somewhere in-between,
Constantly conscious of the ongoing fight,
Casting our character in each and every one of life’s scenes.

We can’t prevent the sun from sleeping,
Nor hide from life’s inevitable dark and lonesome night,
But we can cling to a hope never fleeting,
When joy seems unattainable and out of sight.

We are all flawed petals –
Rough and unperfected beings blowing, swayed by life’s breeze.
Yet, it is in consistently choosing not to settle
That we become beautiful flowers and not merely dormant seeds.

-Poem Written by Justin Farley


photo credit: But I’ll push myself up through the dirt via photopin (license)

The Leaves of Autumn (I’ll Remember You) – A Love Poem

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The Leaves of Autumn (I’ll Remember You) – A Love Poem

When the fireflies bring their dances to a close over the meadow
And the leaves of autumn change their hue,
I will look out my window, love,
And I’ll remember you.

That twinkle in your eyes
Will bring a smile to my face,
But sadly my memories won’t stop there –
I’ll long for your taste,
They’ll find their way to my heart,
And the floodgates will break.

My tears will be the only evidence you still exist,
Smothered by the weight of it all,
And the remembrance of love’s kiss,
I’ll try to find a way to see through the mist –
These cataracts that love has stained upon my eyes.

But how am I to live without your light –
That bright, blinking beacon
Leading me through the mire of my own night?
I’m capable of fighting my own fights,
But I have no desire to…
Not now.
Now when the only affirmation of victory
Is the echo of my own voice.
All dreams are for naught
If they don’t include you.
For you were the one who breathed them into being,
You were the water that took a withered seedling
And made it stand up tall and proud.
So who am I to boast to now, love
Now that you’re not around?

These blooms are fading.
I can feel them shrinking back
Into the dark nothingness from which they came.
I’ve tried to feed them myself,
But they only respond to your name.

I can look up into the heavens
And count the multitude of diamonds glistening,
Ready to be plucked from the sky.
But there is only one jewel I desire,
And it resides within the twinkle of your eye.

So I’ll continue looking out my window,
Enclosed in the tomb of my own misery
And try to choose a memory
That brings your precious light
As close as it can to the solitude of my darkness.

When the fireflies bring their dances to a close over the meadow
And the leaves of autumn change their hue,
I will look out my window, love,
And I’ll remember you.

-Poem Written by Justin Farley


photo credit: lucciole in una tranquilla sera di inizio giugno via photopin (license)

If Only … – A Love Poem

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If Only …

– A Love Poem

If there was a way to pluck my beating heart from my chest,
I’d let you have it. Just to give you the comfort
Of knowing you could crush it at a moment’s notice,
Just so you wouldn’t feel so vulnerable, so weak, so full of fear.

If I could bind my arms and legs up in chains
Just to assure you that I’ll never leave,
Well, I’d be happy to be your slave, call you master,
If it’d make you feel less afraid.

If I could seal my lips shut
After I promise that my love is true,
Just so you know I can never take it back
Well…I’d do that too.

If I could cover myself in filth and reopen my every scar
Just so you wouldn’t feel so dirty,
I’d surely jump at the chance if I knew
That it would help you.

But I can’t.
And it’s killing me.
That my words carry no weight.
For they are the tongue of my heart,
Written with the ink of my tears
And etched with love’s bitter sting.
Without trust, love has no breath to sing.

So what now, my poor heart?
Are there any tricks left up your sleeve?
Any way of breaking the barriers of this madness?
Any way of convincing, so we don’t have to leave?

Oh, my poor, broken heart,
Can’t we just set these silly testimonies aside?
Can’t you read the truth, my love
When it’s written within my eyes?

Do not feel guilty for the thorns
You’ve stuck in my side.
But won’t you please pluck them out!
Don’t make me say good-bye.


photo credit: Crow attack via photopin (license)

The Day Love Bore the World’s Pain – A Poem About Jesus’ Crucifixion

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The Day Love Bore the World’s Pain – A Poem About Jesus’ Crucifixion and Good Friday

Plunged into the depths of our sin,
Flogged for our failures,
Pierced for our pride.
The blood you sacrificed
Restores the soul to life.

In your mercy you drank the cup of wrath
That was destined for our lips.
Humbly took what we deserved,
Even as mankind sealed your fate with a kiss.

You did not consider pain a problem
To be dealt with from the safety of heaven’s throne,
But cast yourself as a suffering servant
To bear sin’s price alone.

We do not serve a king
Who saw not a glimpse of war,
But who fought on the front lines.
We can call him “Abba, Father”
Knowing he understands the tears in our eyes.

On that day, love bore cold iron nails,
A crown of thorns,
And carried the sin of the world upon his shoulders.
Say what you want about him,
But the cross prevents you from saying he doesn’t love you.

But the cross was not the end.
It was the beginning.
A trail was blazed through sin’s frontier,
But the path still stands before us.
Our own cross waits to be borne and carried.
Our own flesh waits to be crucified.
Will you follow him when he calls?
Will you die to yourself
So that you may be reborn in spirit?

The Crucifixion stands as the greatest act
Of love the world will ever know.
But let us not forget that he didn’t give his life
So that we could ignore action,
But that we may find the faith to take it.
Jesus calls us everyday to discipleship.
It is not enough to be a bystander to the cross.
Are you willing to follow him?
Are you willing to pay the cost?

-Poem Written by Justin Farley

If you enjoyed this post, I would greatly appreciate it if you like, share, or comment on it. Follow my blog to receive notifications when new posts are published. You can find my other Christian poems, Lent poems, or inspirational poems at https://alongthebarrenroad.com/category/poetry/


 

photo credit: Crucifixion via photopin (license)