Conversion A Poem About the Love and Grace of God I began divided. Quite selfish with a heart hungry for evil yet filled with a deep longing brewing below the surface that never seemed fulfilled by anything other than you. So what was I to do - in love with myself and my selfish desires but realizing more each day my need for you? I opened my ears to your voice but kept my heart safely distant. You told me to follow you. And I obeyed... at a snail's pace, slowly inching my way towards your grace. The closer I came the louder my name reverberated from your lips. Though the louder too were my selfish longings. Lust ran high in the dry, dusty desert of restraint and tried to pull me back into the slavery of gratification. I gave in time and time again but refused to allow my sin to convince me to hide in shame from you. For at the core of my being, I knew you held something true - an answer to a question about the essence of life itself that couldn't be answered along any other path but yours. So I continued hauling my heavy shell behind me and sluggishly crawled onward, but the way forward didn't get any easier. I only found myself more divided, fragmented into forces fighting within myself. My head became a bed for commotion, tossing me to and fro like the waves of the ocean. The inner struggle only made me more aware of the seriousness of my situation: I had a head full of God and a heart unwavering it its insistence upon serving itself. It was daunting, haunting me in its clutches and causing me to lose sleep like a nightmare stuck on repeat, waking me up in the night to the harsh realities of life. How was I to serve two masters and attend to both of their matters? My ego wasn't lulled to sleep nor cowered to the call for its destruction. But raged and rattled the cage your spirit had created for it. I trusted that your grace was vaster than all the stars shinning forth forgiveness in the dark to the farthest corners of the universe; surely my sin was no match for your goodness. I resolved to stop worrying so much about "do nots" that I never seemed capable of obeying and to focus on following through on the "dos" I was perfectly capable of undertaking. And there your spirit freed a seemingly unsavable prisoner from the bondage of self and turned me towards the Divine. For you kept me so busy doing your will that I forgot about mine. Justin Farley
Origins What comes first, the invitation or the knock at the door? The yearning for your love or the whispering at our core? Justin Farley
Hide and Seek – Godly Love of God Poem
Ready or not, here I come.
Just where could you be hiding?
Your favorite spots could be endless
Across an ever-expanding universe.
Are you resting within a crater on the moon?
Riding around the rings of Saturn
Like a spinning merry-go-round?
Swirling within the storms of Jupiter?
Getting a tan upon the surface of Venus?
Swimming through the Milky Way
Like a breakfast grain in a bowl of cereal?
Or maybe farther yet?
Out across seas of space and time,
Multitudes of galaxies Magellan
Would have loved to sail and navigate?
Oh, the quest is hopeless.
I search and search,
Overturning each and every rock,
But never even find a clue.
I must admit…
You’re quite a funny fellow
With a sense of humor I imagine casts a grin
That stretches across the black void of space.
You must get a chuckle and kick
Out of human ignorance.
Because each time I resolve to quit
This game you show up unexpectedly,
Tapping me on the shoulder and staying
Just long enough to convince me
That you’re not done playing.
And the game begins again.
But this game has lasted for years.
The lines and rules have become blurred.
I no longer know who’s hiding and who’s seeking.
Maybe the jokes on me.
Maybe I’m the one who’s been hiding all along.
Maybe I’ve limited my vision to cosmic proportions,
So I could convince myself that even if I found you,
You’d be too far away to reach anyways.
But what if you’re here
On this very page,
Trying to get my attention that the jig is up –
That I’ve been found,
That, in fact, I was never hidden to begin with.
You just loved me enough
To give me the opportunity to believe I was,
While you’ve been patiently waiting outside the closet door
Like a loving parent, longing to greet me
On the day I’m finally ready to be found.
Ready or not, here I come.
-Poem Written by Justin Farley
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