What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.
Why can’t you just control it? Why can’t you just drink without getting drunk? Aren’t you curious about whether you are fixed?
Other People’s Misconception of Alcoholism and Addiction
Thankfully, I’ve been sober for almost 20 years now. But in the beginning it was rough. Very few people understand the nature of alcoholism and addiction. So many people see it through the lens of a bad habit, an action we can just think our way out of.
But it’s our thinking that’s got us here in the first place. I’m not normal, and I’ve come to terms with that. I’ve realized that some people will get it and some won’t. It’s not their fault. They just can’t comprehend it because they don’t have the experience necessary. I don’t have to worry about what other people think anymore, though. All I’ve got to worry about is me.
You Are In Charge Of Your Sobriety
They would assume that I could drink without a problem now. That I’m somehow fixed because I haven’t drank for almost two decades. And they would be dead wrong. I would lose everything I cherish in my life within a week’s time. Alcohol has the same power over me today as it did twenty years ago–the difference is I don’t let it into my life anymore.
You have to look after you.
Because they certainly won’t.
They may have good intentions, but the ones that convince you that you’re “fixed” aren’t going to be the ones cleaning up your mess. They’ll want nothing to do with you and ask you dumb questions like, “What’s wrong with you?”, “What’s your problem?”, etc. Well, it’s called alcoholism. I tried to explain it to you, but you assured me I would be fine. Do I look fine, now?
Normal People Will Never Understand Us
But it’s not their fault, it’s ours. They can’t understand you or me. But you know what’s inside you. I know what’s inside me. I want to drink as irresponsibly now (or worse) than I did then. My addiction likes to fantasize about a nice quiet evening with a few glasses of wine.
Anymore, I laugh. Those tricks don’t work on me anymore. Because as much as I may like that to be the outcome, I know that the reality is I would plan on a few glasses of wine… but then after the wife goes to bed I would down the rest of the bottle. Then I’d spend the first 30 minutes after waking up with a hangover trying to convince myself to not let this slip be the end of recovery.
Until the voices in my head become too loud to ignore, and I head to the liquor store, buy a fifth of whiskey and decide I’ll get sober “soon”. But now I’ve reactivated my addiction. I’m no longer the person I was yesterday morning. And this person has been sleeping for such a long time and isn’t going to be going back to bed anytime soon…
Why can’t you just control it? Because I am an alcoholic, and for an alcoholic there is no such thing as control, only sobriety or slavery. I must make decisions based on a ME that I’m an expert on and never rely on the well-intended misinformation about ME from someone who’s lucky they’ve never experienced a monster like the one who sleeps inside me.
Still not sure if you’ve got a problem with alcohol? Here’s my in-depth post about the signs and symptoms of alcoholism.
ALONG THE BARREN ROAD 
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