My Own Prison – A Christian Poem
Your law feels like a jailer’s prison
that constrains me in a straight jacket,
unable to move within my cell.
I could strip off my dirty clothes
and unlock my chamber door…
But what awaits me out in the free world?
What of my foolish desires
if life loses all meaning and beauty
becomes simply a fragment of the human mind?
No. I can’t bear it. I won’t.
But don’t you see my problem?
Don’t you see what leaves me pacing puzzled
with this putrid pondering,
wandering through mud and mire,
sore, winded, and tired,
flames that lick up my skin and scorch
my fragile heart and fill it with desire?
Oh, don’t you see?
There’s no hope. I’ll never be free.
I can’t live in a world without you,
but with you there’s a crushing weight
upon my shoulders I can’t bear.
Try as I might, I fail,
resigned to listen to my own desires
instead of seeking your heart.
I am a stubborn and lonely dragon,
determined to to live in a dark, dank cave
doggedly guarding my treasure.
Eyes of brimstone and hardened scales upon my skin,
too scared, too unwilling to let down my guard
and let you in.
Relieve me from my restless wanderings.
Make me feel no guilt when I fail.
Or tear down this hardened heart
and release me from this jail.
I want nothing more than to have you.
Well, nothing except maybe my own free will.
Do you see my paradoxical problem?
Do you see what keeps me up at night
tossing, turning, yearning to forget
and get some sleep?
If it be your will, release me.
Teach me how to deal with this darkness –
these starving desires constantly screaming
in my ears pleading for me to give them
some pleasure to eat.
-Poem Written by Justin Farley
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