The Roadblock to Faith – A Christian Lent Poem
What Am I searching for,
Riding on this merry-go-round,
Spinning past the same old places
And making the same old mistakes
And Over Again?
Am I really looking for answers,
Seeking out the pivotal, hidden clue
That will turn this investigation upside down?
Or am I in the habit of searching
To permit being found –
To have an excuse to resist change
And to keep from hearing a verdict on the case?
For as long as the case is open,
My ego, the guilty party, can run around
I don’t have to accept the truth
Or put chains around my selfishness and pride.
We often dismiss faith
From lack of evidence.
We search every nook and cranny
For the last piece of proof
That will finally tip the scales
And make us believe.
But even when we find it,
it still just isn’t quite enough is it?
So we continue to pursue the evidence
That we’ve already found.
The true roadblock to faith
Is the fear of a verdict.
As long as we stand on the sidelines
We can argue that we haven’t rejected anything,
While never having to deny our selfish impulses.
The true roadblock to faith
Is the darkness of our hearts.
-Poem Written by Justin Farley
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photo credit: Examining Clouds via photopin (license)
We’re all doubting Thomas’s on some level, but faith without doubt is too simple don’t you think? I’ve always seen faith as a process of overcoming the fears and doubts brought about by rationality, a process where we replace anxiety with confidence in God. This is part and parcel of developing an intimate relationship with him 🙂
Yes, it is a complex and difficult issue. Developing trust and confidence in God is definitely part of the equation. I think there are parts of it that are doubts brought on by rationality, but do not think that rationality is an enemy of faith, but rather a qualifier. The laws of nature are so complex and orderly that it is quite rational to expect a creator to be behind them. Are there things that we are not able to understand or comprehend? Sure, but I think the misconception is that those issues are the main thing keeping us from God. We want evidence but think of the Apostles. They lived with Jesus for 3 years, and there’s good reason to believe that they didn’t believe Jesus was divine – the Messiah, yes, but not God, until he was resurrected. Even Mary shows signs of not knowing who Jesus really is. If God in the flesh is not good enough evidence for them, how is it ever going to be for us? What I mean by that is that I believe the main thing keeping us from responding to God is not lack of evidence, but our selfish hearts. We know that if we respond and believe, we have to die to self and that changes everything. So we (at least I) find ourselves nitpicking at every little piece of evidence finding fault or demanding more proof to have a reason or excuse to keep our will and not submit to God’s.
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I like the notion of ‘rationality’ as a qualifier for faith, but faith without doubt is prized. The act of surrendering to God’s will is scary, but once you develop this intimacy with God, trusting his plan will always ring in as the best option in our heads…just need faith to see that through 🙂