Betrayal Burns Like A Bonfire – A Poem of Love

My heart is burning in the flames of betrayal –
Scorching like a fiery furnace stripping away metal,
Bubbling like a boiling brew over a kettle;
Anguish stirs within.

Oh, this wretched weakness, this bitter sin
That I allow my anger to smolder.
Steam sneaks out from beneath my nostrils.
I take the form of an angry dragon
With rigid, hard scales unable to be penetrated,
Trying to keep my lips closed and the flames contained
Within the confines of my belly.

Am I wounded by pride or jealously?
Honestly, I can’t tell.
It is this unwrapping that I’m dog-tired of,
Grown so weary of that I have a hard time
Picking back up the pieces of my shattered heart once more,
Fatigued by unraveling my spirit across the table to be viewed by another,
Only to have it trampled on upon the floor.

It is not even love alone that troubles me –
It is the human race.
So carelessly putting masks on their face
And acting out roles from plays
Their hearts were never meant to play,
Spewing out vomit of promises and passions
Without meaning a single word they say.

Maybe I’m just some alien invader never meant to live on planet Earth,
But for me, words have worth.
I am not interested in playing love,
Not interested in distributing new robes to try,
New parts to play like backyard kids.
I am only interested in doing love,
Of transcending the feeling of love
And ascending to acting love –
To love with all my heart and soul,
To patch the wounds and holes of another,
And to do whatever love requires to see it grow.

Surely, I am not alone!
Surely, there’s another willing to put in the work love requires!
One that doesn’t regard it to be a piece of trash to be discarded
After the initial infatuation date expires.

But where are you, Love?
Where are you, Truth?
You have been lost among the pages of this generation’s youth,
Who demands to eat their desires without working to see them grow –
So willing to reap, but so unwilling to sow;
This generation who is always on the go,
Looking for another quick fix for the restlessness
They harbor within their soul.

But the emptiness remains.
The emptiness that stirs the heart to look for another name
To hope in, to trust in for happiness and fulfillment.
But love was never meant to be a cure all for life’s woes.
But I suppose we’ve lost that too…
Morality is more than we can chew,
So we spit it out and are guided by our own intuition.
Chaos reigns supreme in the prideful heart –
Freedom has heavier chains than the most guarded prison.

So how do I let myself fall into the arms of another
When each one before this has sat back and watched as I’ve fallen on my face,
Sat back and sneered, cheered as I’m betrayed?
How do you still the child’s whisper in your ear
That lies will once again be uncovered, that you will once again discover
That they are just like all the rest,
Breathing without a beating heart in their chest,
But only a black, withered clump of coal
Who cares for you only as long as you can make them feel whole?

Betrayal burns like a bonfire,
And I’m not sure if I can put it out.
Or even want to for that matter…
So rage on sweet anger.
Burn with a fire so hot that it removes any longing
To pull this heart from my chest again.
Let me lie in lonely lullabies.
Let me dwell alone beneath the shadow of hillsides –
For solitude has its peace.
Let me rest in the quiet of isolation until I meet Truth on the street.
I’ve been so yearning to meet her.
I’ve danced with those who’ve pretended to wear her face,
But the bitter after-taste of their sweet kiss was only lies.
Oh, Truth, I’m calling to you.
Dear, if you can hear me now, won’t you answer my cry?

-Poem Written by Justin Farley

photo credit: Torrington Cavalier Bonfire 2005 via photopin (license)