Stopping the OCD and Anxiety Spirals of Negative Thoughts

I recently finished a young adult fiction novel by author John Green titled, “Turtles All the Way Down”. I would highly recommend it to anyone who struggles with anxiety or has a loved one who does and would like to understand them better. I’m not going to summarize the book but just share a quote that I feel captures the anguish and negative thought loops that come with an anxiety disorder–at least that’s how I’ve experienced it in my life.

The main character is a teenage girl with multiple issues but mainly struggles with OCD and a specific health phobia revolving around bacteria which is the reason different microbes are mentioned in the quote below.

There’s an Edna St. Vincent Millay poem that’s been rumbling around inside me ever since I first read it and part of it goes, “blown from the dark hill hither to my door / Three flakes then four / Arrive, then many more.” You can count the first three flakes, and the 4th. Then, the language fails, and you have to settle in and try to survive the blizzard.

So it was with the tightening spiral of my thoughts. I thought about his bacteria being inside of me. I thought about the probability that some percentage of said bacteria were malicious. I thought about the E. coli and campylobacter and Clostridium difficle that were very likely an ongoing part of Davis’s microbiota.

A fourth thought arrived. Then many more.

-Quote Taken from the Book Turtles All the Way Down by John Green
pg. 180

Spiraling Into Anxiety and Panic Attacks

“A fourth thought arrived. Then many more”–so begins the hell of the spiral down to a panic attack or at least misery. This quote is a perfect description of how the spiral of anxiety starts and morphs into full blown panic from a single thought. Oh, if only you could avoid the first worried thought (impossible!) or at the very least not move onto the second thought you’d be normal. But you can’t. That’s why they call it an anxiety disorder.

In some messed up way, the sick mind gravitates towards sick thoughts–gets pulled to them like a magnet. Once the mind is stuck, though, it’s unable to break the magnetic force of spiraling fear that’s a trillion times stronger than an electromagnet. Sleep seems to be the only way to break its pull.

And even if you’re disciplined enough to resist the chain of what ifs and blind your eyes to the images of worst case scenarios your amygdala keeps shoving in your face for a minute, two minutes, ten, or even a full hour, its magnet keeps bumping up against your sanity waiting for the opportunity for your “magnetic field” of positive energy you’re locked onto to weaken enough that polarities are flipped, and you’re in the grip of a force you can’t repel.

How to Counteract Negative Intrusive Thoughts

Thoughts Can’t Be Avoided

I’m not an expert on magnetism but from the bit of information I’ve researched it seems that–like thoughts–magnetic fields can’t be avoided. An object can’t be shielded from a magnetic field; you can only attempt to redirect the field.

I can understand healthy coping mechanisms better by thinking of my mind as metal and my thoughts as two separate magnets: positive and negative. I get the most panicked when I try to stop my thoughts. The harder I try to avoid them the faster they come. Essentially, when with each attempt to avoid uncomfortable thoughts, the more powerful I’m making “the negative magnet” and my mind is being pulled helplessly towards it.

First, by understanding I can’t shield myself from this magnetic field of negative thoughts, I don’t make them stronger. Instead, I can stay grounded in reality, knowing that I must do something, or I will be pulled closer and closer towards them.

Counter Negative Thoughts With Powerful Positive or Distracting Thoughts

The only way I can really get away from the spiral of anxious thoughts is by creating a new magnet that is stronger and exerts more force on my mind, pulling my mind towards itself. This can be done through distraction techniques, some form of cognitive behavioral therapy, prayer, exercise, hobbies, etc. The most important thing is that the positive magnet you create must be stronger than the negative one of fear your mind previously created.

Find the healthy force to counteract and ultimately break the negative thought loop. Easier said than done of course!

My Personal Experience Dealing With OCD /Anxiety Negative Feedback Loops

Anxiety has consumed my life for about the past 20 years. I’ve made major strides but am still a work in progress. We can never compare our journey to others. Doing so only brings shame, more anxiety and a feeling of “I need to get better NOW”. That’s not helpful for anyone. Everyone has their own demons to battle. Some are stronger than others. Just because one person recovered after 6 months doesn’t mean you have to.

We are all unique and have different loads to carry–some heavier, some lighter. We can only try our best to be better than who we were yesterday.

For me, I am highly anxious, highly curious, highly ADHD–my mind very easily moved to arousal. Not the best combination. My mind will always fixate and lock onto the most stimulating thoughts whether they be good or bad. I’ve gotten better at learning to let go of thoughts, but sometimes, the thoughts mixed with hyperactivity and anxiety are just too hard to manage..

I’ve tried lots of different techniques, some working better than others. But I’ve never had much luck with positive thoughts unless they are backed with strong emotion. Repeating things like, “I feel calm” when I damn well know I’m not and am crawling out of my skin have failed to help me at all. Why? It’s a lie and a weak thought. My worry is much more powerful and real at that moment.

Exercises to Break Ruminative Thinking

Using Visualization Techniques To Stop Anxiety

But perhaps I use images of myself with the anxiety sliding off of me, being a better dad, being a better husband, being a better friend and neighbor; perhaps I visualize be as my best self, the self who could do amazing things without the burden of anxiety; perhaps I view myself as loved right now in my mess and as I continue to get better in the future.

Suddenly, I become brave. I’m still afraid but those images are powerful and begin to pull myself away from that negative feedback loop I’m in because I want to be that person in those images. I want to be someone my family can be proud of and, God forbid, someone my own children can confide in for help if they have to deal with mental illness.

Using Hobbies As A Distraction Technique

Another thing that has helped me is to begin doing a hobby I love (preferably hands on) that I can loose myself in. At first it’s very difficult to focus on the hobby instead of the anxiety, but then, the hobby becomes more exciting than the fear. My brain tends to follow the stimulation. Give it highly stimulating positive things to engage with, and it will usually choose it over the negative simulating thoughts.

Meditation, Prayer, and Breathing Exercises

This is probably my most effective method for getting out of my thoughts but usually only works when I am disciplined to start it soon enough. If my mind is already racing in full blown panic mode it can be nearly impossible to sit with your thoughts and take deep breaths.

Deep Breathing Exercises for Anxiety and Panic Attacks

It is ok to start at even 2 seconds a piece and slowly work up to 4. The key is to try to keep your breathing consistent but also know you might not be. And that’s ok. Any control over your breathing is better than none.

I generally start with about 10 minutes of 4 x 4 box breathing–breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and repeat. This will be pretty uncomfortable to begin with. You’re likely going to feel like you’re suffocating because you’re hyperventilating.

Using A Mantra During Prayer / Meditation To Treat Anxiety

At about 10 to 15 minutes of deep breathing my mind is much more relaxed. I may still be anxious but no longer panicking. Then, I typically do about 10 minutes of prayer using a mantra or visualization. A mantra is simply a word or phrase that you repeat over and over that usually holds meaning to you. Some examples of a mantra for anxiety are “peace”, “relax”, “I’m safe now”, “faith over fear”, etc.

For Christians, certain Bible verses might be helpful. A favorite of mine is from 2 Timothy 1:7–“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” It doesn’t always answer all our doubts or fears, but it does assure us that it isn’t God’s desire for us to be swallowed by anxiety and that the Holy Spirit will grant us wisdom and aid in dealing with that fear. Prayer helps ground me and removes some of the existential angst I’m dealing with. It’s only when we have something greater than ourselves that we can give up the need for control which fuels so much of our fear and anxiety.

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I hope this post has given you some hope dealing with anxiety / OCD loops as I know they’re terrible to deal with. Please subscribe to my newsletter to stay up to date with my posts and books.

I have 5 published books of poetry, 2 of which deal heavily with mental illness: Frozen Rivers and Blossoms of Hope. You can find the link to them on Amazon in my books tab. If this was helpful, please share this post with someone who’d benefit from it.

Frozen Rivers: Poems About Winter and Mental Illness

Blossoms of Hope: Inspirational Poems About Mental Health and Spring

You may also enjoy this previous post of mine about a guided meditation to calm your anxious nerves. A Guided Meditation for Panic and Anxiety Disorders with Hypochondria

Further Posts About Mental Health:

Hope In Mental Health Recovery

Poem About Panic Attacks Agoraphobia and Anxiety Disorder

Living With Fear – A Poem About Anxiety Disorder and Mental Illness

Deimos and Phobos

I Am Not A Victim – The Courage to Change